I hope all you fathers had as nice a day as I did. Being a step parent is never easy. Your opinion carries no weight. Your decisions on issues of discipline are viewed through the lens of “You’re NOT my parent!”
My wife and I settled on a plan very early in our relationship. First off we spent many hours talking about our parenting philosophy and realized we agreed on nearly everything. Then we decided that each parent would parent their own kids, the step parent was there to back up the biological parent. Also the step was there to enforce the rules laid down by the bio-parent. That short circuited the whole “You’re not the boss of me” argument. It also allows the step to be less a boss more a leader.
I don’t know if they ever realized how we had it worked out (until now). I do know on both Mothers Day and Fathers Day we both get calls, texts, and letters from all the kids.