Paul Haas

Paul Haas

Author


Paralyzed Without The Remote

Last night my family and I became paralyzed when the Satellite Receiver/DVR remote suddenly vanished. Hours were spent rummaging through the house, retracing steps, opening cabinets, the refrigerator, the oven, dresser drawers. Bathrooms, bedrooms, the trash and the garage were searched. We even looked in the car thinking that perhaps it was accidentally taken out of the house. Both dog beds and the yard were also searched… no evidence of an eaten remote.

The TV had been turned on before the remote went missing- so at least we could watch Duck Dynasty because that was the channel it was on. Then the true impact of the missing remote was realized when all of a sudden the Satellite Receiver shut down due to lack of activity. Now the screen just displayed the text telling us to use the remote to turn the DVR back on. Panic began to set in.

Then we remembered that we could still access Netflix because it ran through the WII and we had that remote. Oh no… how do we change the source input with out the remote for the TV? Then we remembered…. all of the control buttons must be on the TV itself. It took a flashlight and two sets of magnifying glasses and a lot of pushing the wrong buttons before we were able to get the source to change. Finally, the screen showed the menu for Netflix.

After regaining our composure, we also realized that perhaps we could change the channel on the satellite receiver manually as well. More experimental button pushing led to menus popping on on off the screen, the TV turning off and on…. and some wedding dress show kept coming on. But we had no real control over what we were watching. Then a button was pushed and the screen went blank… and a message said the satellite was trying to reconnect… At that point we surrendered and went to bed.

As I left for work this morning… I heard a voice ask, “Did you find the remote?” I looked at the TV and laughed hysterically… then left the house. My fingers a re crossed and I am wishing that the remote suddenly reappears before I return after work… or how are we going to watch the ball drop… how will we know it is 2014 without the seeing to happen.

Hmmm… maybe we¬† should just buy a new TV this afternoon?

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